all-star in-game live rhyme-O-mat, year 2

Welcome to 2nd annual All-Star Superpalooka Poetry Slampocalypse … sorry no pre-game version this year. Wayward O was busy this evening eating chilled cherries and pickled herring — no lie! Anyway, who wants to live blog Fox-sponsored pre-game show in any sport? Fox stinks. But All-Star Game rules and must be watched.

8:54 p.m.
David Price mows down the side
The NL’s on a 13-year Schneid

 8:58 p.m.
Good in the empty parks of the West
Ubaldo must prove he’s really da Best

9:07 p.m.
Robbie Cano may need a new mitt
Somehow his error was ruled a base hit

9:14 p.m. 
McCarver causes my brain to seize
With ‘analysis’ of Jimenez’s cheese

9:23 p.m.
Joe and Tim make a “Hall” case for Andy
They have forgotten: He ate steroids like candy

9:40 p.m.
Adrian Gonzalez is in at first base
MacPhail are you watching? He’s a guy Team should chase

9:42 p.m.
A nice, diving effort by Ryan Q. Braun
He lunged for the ball and fell on the laun

9:58 p.m.
Wright gets a hit and a second-base poach
But he’s stopped in his tracks by his third-base coach

10:07 p.m.
Hong-Chih Kuo’s errant throw
Sets up a sac by Robbie Cano

10:09 p.m.
The NL may well miss that run
This duel could really be one-and-done

10:28 p.m.
Wayward’s attention has thoroughly lapsed
He went to the fridge and pulled out a Pabst

10:57 p.m.
Brian McCann with a three-run double
Now it’s the AL that’s in deep trouble

11:13 p.m.
Matt Holliday flubs one for all to see
He keeps fucking up on national TV

11:48 p.m.
Forced from right field is a slimmed down Ortiz
Papi can’t move up on that one? Jeez

11:49 p.m.
Not long after, the ballgame is over
With zero earned funs, the NL’s in clover

4 Responses to “all-star in-game live rhyme-O-mat, year 2”

  1. brO Says:

    Nuttin rhymes with ShOwalter……

  2. PBRmeASAP! Says:

    methinks a Pabst fits the bill right ’bout now

  3. brO Says:

    If you are a guy who goes by the handle “A.J.” You are a doosch.

    If you are a Yankee and your name is “A.J.” you are a double doosch.

    If your name is A.J. and you are NOT a doosch, it’s probably because you made everyone stop calling you A.J. But you are just a doosch with an alias.

    And your alias is probably something like “Wing Commander”

  4. PBRmeASAP! Says:

    Carl Crawford is lacking in testicular fortitude. Rub some dirt on it, kid! And get back out there.