Welcome to 2nd annual All-Star Superpalooka Poetry Slampocalypse … sorry no pre-game version this year. Wayward O was busy this evening eating chilled cherries and pickled herring — no lie! Anyway, who wants to live blog Fox-sponsored pre-game show in any sport? Fox stinks. But All-Star Game rules and must be watched.

8:54 p.m.
David Price mows down the side
The NL’s on a 13-year Schneid

 8:58 p.m.
Good in the empty parks of the West
Ubaldo must prove he’s really da Best

9:07 p.m.
Robbie Cano may need a new mitt
Somehow his error was ruled a base hit

9:14 p.m. 
McCarver causes my brain to seize
With ‘analysis’ of Jimenez’s cheese

9:23 p.m.
Joe and Tim make a “Hall” case for Andy
They have forgotten: He ate steroids like candy

9:40 p.m.
Adrian Gonzalez is in at first base
MacPhail are you watching? He’s a guy Team should chase

9:42 p.m.
A nice, diving effort by Ryan Q. Braun
He lunged for the ball and fell on the laun

9:58 p.m.
Wright gets a hit and a second-base poach
But he’s stopped in his tracks by his third-base coach

10:07 p.m.
Hong-Chih Kuo’s errant throw
Sets up a sac by Robbie Cano

10:09 p.m.
The NL may well miss that run
This duel could really be one-and-done

10:28 p.m.
Wayward’s attention has thoroughly lapsed
He went to the fridge and pulled out a Pabst

10:57 p.m.
Brian McCann with a three-run double
Now it’s the AL that’s in deep trouble

11:13 p.m.
Matt Holliday flubs one for all to see
He keeps fucking up on national TV

11:48 p.m.
Forced from right field is a slimmed down Ortiz
Papi can’t move up on that one? Jeez

11:49 p.m.
Not long after, the ballgame is over
With zero earned funs, the NL’s in clover

Blog of Team: “Steinbrenner was indicted in 1974 on charges of making illegal contributions to President Richard Nixon’s re-election campaign.”
Sox-ual Healing: no WAY
Blog of Team: He pled guilty and was banned from baseball for 15 months
Sox-ual Healing: The New York media only remembers what it wants to eh?
25 years of loving baseball, and I’d never heard that
Blog of Team: “In 1990, Steinbrenner paid an admitted gambler, Howie Spira, $40,000 for damaging information about star outfielder Dave Winfield, with whom Steinbrenner was feuding. Commissioner Fay Vincent banned Steinbrenner from baseball for life, then reinstated him for the 1993 season.”
Sox-ual Healing: Why the hell would he want to damage Winfield?
Blog of Team: “Joe Torre said Steinbrenner governed with a ‘divide and conquer dynamic’ that encouraged employees to denigrate others.”
Sox-ual Healing: When did he say that?
Blog of Team: I guess in a memoir about his life
This is all old news, man
Sox-ual Healing: Well, I’m a young guy
I only read young news
Blog of Team: It’s just that people have sort of pushed his rampant douchebaggery out of their memories
Sox-ual Healing: But if you were going to reintroduce it, did you HAVE to pick the day the man died?
Blog of Team: All from his obit on Bloomberg
Those obits lie around for decades, sometimes, before they see light of day.
For [Blog], all [Blog] ever had to do was look at picture of his crazy eyes to know he was psycho
Sox-ual Healing: Well also, look at the kid he raised
See, I didn’t grow up in that generation. I grew up with the Larry-David-Seinfeld caricature of Steinbrenner
and the SNL host who was lovingly teased for his iron fist approach
Blog of Team: Great job Constanza!
Sox-ual Healing: exactly
Now, I knew he was cunning
And I hated him
But I don’t think the hatred went beyond baseball
Blog of Team: Baseball-wise [Blog hates] him most for distorting price of free-agent market and hurting competition
Though [Blog] will admit it was successful strategy over decades-long period
Sox-ual Healing: Well, successful for him because he had money
That’s like saying, “You know what would be smart? To have money.”
It also helped that he owned the Yankees, and not the Brewers or something Players already want to play for the Yankees, even without the winning tradition
But what he did amounts to anitrust violations
Blog of Team: Except that baseball is immune
Sox-ual Healing: But it shouldn’t be
I’ve always favored a salary cap
Blog of Team: Watch, tonight FOX will turn him into Saint in All-Star pre-game
Rupert Murdoch is same kind of guy — so he’ll have all of his paid minions turn George from paranoid criminal into Dear Leader
Sox-ual Healing: I have no doubt
Joe Buck, in his dumb little Joe Buck voice: “A man loved by millions, and feared by millions more … but respected by all.”
Blog of Team: Haha. Perfect.

name: unknown (maybe richard kind?)
status: presumed fan of Team
location: beach 118th street, rockaway park, queens
gear of choice: sun-blocking, yet vaguely depressing, angelos-era Team cap, not fitted; kadima rig

quote: unavailable
wayward o says: owner of Blog was rocking a matt wieters tee! happy fourth of july everybody! also: amazing how a good digital camera can help search for Team gear because of fancy high res and zoom features. and: currently watching archived replay of yesterday’s game in boston; brian matusz looks solid in fourth and miguel tejada is sulking because he isn’t playing the field. OMG this isn’t shaping up to be a good inning … pfew he escapes!