Finally some news! Jonesie going to take up Andrew Bynum look! Computer-assisted preview!!!!!

Hoop Dreams

Oh also: Orioles off-season to edge of panic!!! WAIVER CLAIMZ? ARBY FIGHTZ? What nutty hijinx will Warehouse cook up next?

Can Ian Kinsler even grow a moustache and beard a la Nicky? Or does he rock five-a-side hockey soup strainer? Let Blog Bing that for you! SO MUCH BLINGIE POTENTIAL THERE ARE YOU LISTENING DAN DUQUETTE?!?!?!

Has ANYBODY SEEN MATT WIETERS? NEEDZ CONTRACTED!!!!

Tough loss.

Didn’t like Adam Jones’s inability to move up J.J. Hardy in eighth inning. Jonesie, presumably, doesn’t get bunt sign ever. Which is arguably OK. But he didn’t shorten up and try to hit ball to right side either. He was just hacking away at balls outside of zone. Bad at-bat. No two ways about it.

Plating Hardy in eighth would have changed complexion in ninth, for sure, and key to that would have been moving James Jerry up with nobody out.

With game tied in ninth, Blog didn’t love decision to bring in Jim Johnson. It would have been better either to move to Tommy Hunter or let Brian Matusz — or somebody else — try to grind out some outs.

Even if it was wrong move, however, Johnson should have been better. He served up home run ball to Russell Martin on very hittable mistake pitch after initially appearing to have trouble finding strike zone. And he seemed to unravel from there. Not a good outing at all.

Rest of game was a tense and entertaining affair.

Maybe a little adversity will be good for ‘em. Certainly Andy Pettitte is no C.C. Sabathia. Hats off, too, to Jason Hammel for a great start and to some guys including Matt Wieters, Mark Reynolds and Chris Davis for some great defense.

When did they start calling him Howard Kendrick? Whatever, everybody knows Howie is a cop. Switch to bourgeois given name isn’t fooling anybody. Why his beat includes basepaths and infield in Orange County, Calif. is anybody’s guess. Maybe he works for Sgt. Stedenko.

Anyway Det. Kendrick’s master plan to foil Team’s winning road trip came unraveled Sunday afternoon as Nick Markakis’ ferociously struck grounder ticked off constabular mitt into shallow center field and Jim Johnson’s sinker left Howard and his moustache at home plate for final out.

Moustaches like that are dead giveaway.

Fans of Team learned a lot about 2012 vintage on this newly ended road trip through three cities where dreams of winning win percentage often go to die.

First and foremost, fans of Team did not see any listless losing streaks. Terminating losing streaks before they blossom is hallmark of well-coached, motivated squads.

We also saw Team dodge veritable Rogue’s Gallery of Oriole Killers including, but not limited to, Jose Bautista, Alex Rios, Paul Konerko and Vernon Wells — not to mention presumptive Oriole-killer Albert Pujols.

And we see where Adam Jones is trying to add rampant base-thieving to his list of tricks. Per Joe and Fred, he’s getting lessons from Brian Roberts on how to steal third base. Jonesie needs another lesson or two because he made second out at third base in second inning Sunday.

(Of course Mark Reynolds was up so who could blame him. Reynolds certainly wasn’t picking him up. Reynolds couldn’t pick up a ______ in a _________* these days.)

Very importantly we learned — not for first time — that Jonesie will blow bubble at any given moment. Here he is, base-thiefage in progress, firing air pocket into wad of Double Bubble:

Image via FS West

It’s important to blow bubbles and to appear nonchalant when you’re on thieving mission with Officer Kendrick on patrol just steps away.

We also saw continuation of Capt. Nicky’s “more vocal” attitude about balls and strikes and assume it translates to clubhouse.

Maybe it does not but he’s looking mighty put-upon these days when Umpires, presumably anxious to get to Early Bird specials on Sunday afternoons across this fine land of ours, try to run him on pitches that ARE NOT STRIKES.

Weltschmertz via MASN

Getting back to Reynolds for moment. He is turning into one of about four total singularities on roster from which no unfavorable outcome can escape. Blog won’t trouble you to name list of said Time-Space Continuums since it’s not exactly revelatory.

Maybe a couple of them including Reynolds come around to contribute but in a way it’s a good thing because this Team has PLENTY OF ROOM to make changes with NO DOWNSIDE AT ALL should it need to.

Blog also couldn’t help but notice that Buck is taking dugout steps backwards these days. Those knees must be really screwed up. This also could explain why starting pitchers are staying deeper into games. Nobody wants to be THE GUY who makes Buck climb those damned steps!

* too early to think of something clever

Other night Blog of Team was thinking of money-making ideas. How about a “Bring your own patty” burger chain called Pattie’s? You pay a low price for bun and fixins and they cook your patty to spec.

Image via KIRO

Adam Jones doesn’t dream about Big Score. He already won Talent Lottery. Maybe he could be Pattie’s angel investor with $50 million, minimum, in future contract value he likely has earned with this catch.

Image via KIRO

It drew immediate comparison to Willie Mays’ catch at Polo Grounds in 1954. But, as MASN analyst Jim Palmer pointed out, “At the Polo Grounds, Mays never hits the wall.”*

Image via KIRO

Adam goes a bit Nightclub with two-fingers-up pose as he holds up baseball. Adam is very “media-savvy.” And he’s certainly left his 2010 annus horriblis in past.

Then he sent Team home from West Coast Massacre on wings of game-winning, upper deck home run.  And Team now has four starters from whom fans can expect win on Any Given Day taking control of rotation. So there’s still hope Team can finally slay elusive questing beast known simply as .500.

Once Beast is Slain, Sky is Limit.

* Palmer likes to speak in present tense about events that happen in recent past. It sounds erudite.