Back around weekend of May 8, Blog hopes, Team hit nadir for 2011 season. With J.J. Hardy still clowning around on DL, Luke Scott taking his idiocy to new heights and, seemingly, Brian Matusz never coming back, Team wasn’t hitting and was shut down by Bruce Chen in Kansas City and then swept at home by Tampa Bay.
Blog was furious. Blog was distracted. Blog didn’t see beauty of world. Flowers didn’t smell good; old ladies didn’t get Blog’s seat on bus and Friends of Blog were all, “everything OK?” Blog was all, “No, everything NOT OK.”
Since then Team has answered. Sweep over Seattle to even said homestand at three and three was, frankly, least it could do. And now Nick Markakis seems to be hitting again and, barring some disaster, it looks like Team is on way to series win in Tampa. As of this writing Team has gone into defensive changes mode with 8-2 lead over Powder-Blue Clad Devil Rays in 7th inning on getaway day.
If “Grand Slam” Hardy, who clearly somehow has become Glue of Team (was it the ping pong?), can stay healthy and Matusz can come back strong and Bradley Bergesen keeps getting low strike calls, there’s no reason why Team won’t be in mix late into season. Rest of AL East, Oriole jinxes aside, just isn’t that impressive.
Which brings Blog to more important matters: Since Team appears to be back on track it feels like good time to bring up burning question that long has interested Blog: What is most complex task you’ve accomplished between innings or during other commercial breaks?
Most baseball games probably have about 20 to 25 commercial breaks, depending largely upon number of times pitchers are replaced. Each break lasts about 2 minutes. Let’s just say, without getting too granular, that there’s maybe an hour of free time stashed away inside your average baseball game.
Blog of Team watches just about every Game of Team, which means 162 hours per year could potentially be unlocked during commercial breaks on some unnamed quest for Greatness in Increments.
You figure you’re going to use at least five or six of those commercial breaks to refill glass of beverage, or perhaps find snack or make sandwich (though you can’t get too deep into sandwichcraft in two minutes, you can definitely get something basic together).
Of course you could use one break to set up your sandwich, then use next break to execute. Potential for excellence increases dramatically if you make sandwich over four minutes as opposed to two minutes.
Anyway, sandwich and drink breaks aside, there are probably 15 to 20 breaks to accomplish other stuff — possibly as long as 40 minutes (or more than 108 hours per year).
Have you paid bills? Folded laundry? Sponged sink? Checked email or your favorite social network site? Picked up shoe pile and removed to closet? Well that’s not impressive. Blog has done those things.
It seems there’s no end of important things one could get done.
Of course, you’ve got to be mindful; game could come back on at any time and you could miss something. During today’s game, for example, had Blog not been keeping sharp eye on screen, Blog could have missed Brian Roberts’ latest idiotic head-first slide into first base. It came seconds after telecast return from commercial break.
Yes Brian, you scored a run. No Brian, that slide did NOT contribute to it. You were gonna be safe regardless. It was a savvy bunt; you caught Rays off-guard. Their defensive play wasn’t materializing. Fine, kill yourself. Go ahead. Wreck your back again. Smart, Brian. Brilliant. I mean don’t get Blog wrong, Blog loves to watch you play and you’re best player on Orioles. But you’re one injury away from retirement and you know it.
Oh, sorry. Digression. But point is, you’ve got to have discipline. You can’t get carried away during your two minutes of free time or you might miss something. Anyway – have you ever accomplished something amazing during a commercial break? Let’s hear about it.
Man are they gonna blow this???
4:45 p.m. update: No. They’re not.
