shOrten up

Posted in adam jOnes, octOber, wOe is me on October 8th, 2012 by The Wayward O

Tough loss.

Didn’t like Adam Jones’s inability to move up J.J. Hardy in eighth inning. Jonesie, presumably, doesn’t get bunt sign ever. Which is arguably OK. But he didn’t shorten up and try to hit ball to right side either. He was just hacking away at balls outside of zone. Bad at-bat. No two ways about it.

Plating Hardy in eighth would have changed complexion in ninth, for sure, and key to that would have been moving James Jerry up with nobody out.

With game tied in ninth, Blog didn’t love decision to bring in Jim Johnson. It would have been better either to move to Tommy Hunter or let Brian Matusz — or somebody else — try to grind out some outs.

Even if it was wrong move, however, Johnson should have been better. He served up home run ball to Russell Martin on very hittable mistake pitch after initially appearing to have trouble finding strike zone. And he seemed to unravel from there. Not a good outing at all.

Rest of game was a tense and entertaining affair.

Maybe a little adversity will be good for ’em. Certainly Andy Pettitte is no C.C. Sabathia. Hats off, too, to Jason Hammel for a great start and to some guys including Matt Wieters, Mark Reynolds and Chris Davis for some great defense.

swish, rOd-ster and michael kay

Posted in schadenfrOide, wOe is me on April 12th, 2012 by The Wayward O

Jake: Eat your heart out
Blog of Team: Blog can see your name in lights, son
Jake: Thanks
B of T: You and Swish, just hangin’ on Acela, breakin’ it down
Jake: I would love to hang with Swish. He seems like a good time
B of T: Last year, after similarly bitter defeat, Blog saw Swish, Rod-ster and … MICHAEL KAY … all hopping choo-choo together
Jake: Oh Michael Kay
B of T: They are buds Blog is telling ya
Jake: I nearly got arrested sneaking into the VIP corporate box section of Shea Stadium during a Bruce Springsteen concert when I was in high school. And while I was begging for leniency from the security guard…
B of T: Kay bailed you out?
Jake: I saw Kay, John Franco and Al Leiter palling around
B of T: He’s the Zelig of New York sprotz!
Jake: Hahaha

it shOws

Posted in vacatiOn, wOe is me on July 6th, 2011 by The Wayward O

Cruel, cruel summer!

Image via Late Show

Blog has been watching and reading and following Team but Blog has had trouble finding anything to say partially because Blog doesn’t see point of ripping Team every fifteen seconds. What is point?

Team could find feet again, like it did late last year, but who cares? Magic is out of machine. Bloom is off rose. Horse has left barn. Horse is in Yankee, Red Sox barn eating oats. Again. Team barn full of manure and rotten hay.  

Blog is tired of stupid Vlad Guerrerro flogging but too ennuied of tired lines of battle to bother with it.

Tired of bungling starting rotation and dumb injuries.

Tired of losing.

Tired of watching minor leaguers at crucial positions every July and August. 

Tired of Team getting overwhelmed in All-Star balloting and tired of being unable to be indignant about it because numbers don’t lie.

Tired of all explanations for Team’s failure except that Team’s money man doesn’t care about winning and it shows.

Very, very tired of Brian Roberts, or should Blog say absence of Brian Roberts. Ironic, perhaps. And embarrassed about once upon time being so supportive of long contract extension.

Luckily Blog is heading for beach for week, next week, should current week ever manage to end.  Maybe when Blog gets back Blog will reassess 2008 flOwchart.

After bout of whining it is good to find perspective, so here it is: Blog is glad Blog is not Dodgers’ Blog or Mets Blog. Being fan of Dodgers clearly would be more excruciating at this point with Sick-in-Head Sort-Of Owner literally destroying proud franchise. Being fan of Mets would make Blog feel like Ponzi “victim.”  

At least Penny Pinching Ol Man Pete won’t let Team go bankrupt. He’s got every hotdog accounted for on ledger. Hey Pete, WHAT ARE YOU SAVING IT FOR?!?!?

lest their deeds be fOrgetted

Posted in wOe is me on May 20th, 2011 by The Wayward O

19-23 Team is 0-6 against fat, overpaid, stinking Yankees and Yankees are literally laughing at Team.

Blog of Team knows you know that Blog knows that Blog saw Nick Swisher COLD LAUGHING at Team after 3-run double put Pynstrypz up 5-0 in first inning. Swisher and rest of Yankees knew from that point they’d be tasked with recording 27 workmanlike outs and hopping Acela back to Bronx or wherever Traveling All-Stars are heading next.

Losses have been excruciating but, unlike some excruciating memories, Blog for some reason doesn’t want to forget them. Blog wants to remember, so let’s quick-like go back and see:

LOSS ONE, April 13 — Team 4 @ Yankees 7: ARod, coming off flu symptoms, smacks 3-run homer run in first inning off Chris Tillman, getting Team’s Spring of Futility off on right foot. By top of 3rd it was 6-0 in favor of Fat Yankees.

LOSS TWO, April 14 — Team 5 @ Yankees 6, 10 inn.: Behind Jake Arrieta, Team runs out to 5-0 lead and things appear sort of normal on pretty night in Bronx (Blog of Team bought $5 walkup stub) until bullpen melts down behind Kevin Gregg and Michael Gonzalez. Added painful bonus: Felix Pie slap-tagged in face by Joba Chamberlain in play at plate and Nick Swisher pie faced after game-winning sac fly:

Ralph! via

In defense of Team, LOSS TWO was at midway point of 8-game losing streak. So it’s not like Team was only losing to Yankees at that point.

LOSS THREE, April 23 — Yankees 15 @ Team 3: Keeping up time-honored, alternating blowout, extra innings torture motif, Team cold gets stomped at home. A-Rod hits grand slam, his 2,956th home run against Brad Bergesen.  

LOSS FOUR, April 24 — Yankees 6 @ Team 3, 11 inn.: Read all about it here. Or not. Robert Andino tagged out at plate in Bottom of 9th to keep Team from ending game.

LOSS FIVE, May 18 — Yankees 4 @ Team 1, 15 inn.: Little wrinkle for ya here. Team hangs around for 15 innings but loses. Luke Scott comes up with bases loaded and one out in 11th and strikes out on four pitches. But at least, like April 24, Team got to Mariano Rivera, AGAIN, you know. AT LEAST Team did that before LOSING.

LOSS SIX, May 19 — Yankees 13 @ Team 2: Like April 23rd game, a C.C. Sabathia vs. 3e mismatch. This one was literally over in 15 minutes. And Swisher again had first, middle and last laugh. Want to see his laffy taffy face again? Blog doesn’t. 

So, three blowouts and three extra-inning affairs capped by inches separating Team from victory. Dunno which is worse. Blowouts probably are harder to watch in terms of story line, since there is none. Sorry, Team. Blog didn’t want to do this. In immortal words of Ted Knight, or Judge Smails, Blog felt it owed it to you.

are yOu a pitcher?

Posted in wOe is me on April 18th, 2011 by The Wayward O

Dear Team,

Team is in bad spot, mainly because offense is pathetic.

Oh, sure, pitching hasn’t been what you’d call perfect, either, but bats, wow.

Blog isn’t throwing anybody under bus (unlike so many others who did so before season even began and continue to do so now but whatever). Blog wants to help. So Blog has concocted handy performance aid.

This flowchart is for your quick and easy reference. Please follow these simple instructions, and you will be OK:

1) Are you Vlad Guerrerro? If yes, read below. If no, skip to 2.

Yes? Keep doing what you’re doing

2) OK, you’re not Vlad. Are you a pitcher? If yes, read below. If no, skip to 4.

Yes? Keep doing more or less what you’re doing (and see 3a)

3a) Are you Kevin Gregg? If yes, read below. If no, skip to 4.

Yes? Do a little better

4) OK, you’re not Vlad and you are not a pitcher?

Yes? Be more patient at plate. You are not Vlad 

This concludes flowchart. Please consult this flowchart at any time if there are additional questions.

Looking forward to winning ballgame one of these days!
Thank you,
Blog of Team.


Posted in wOe is me on December 29th, 2010 by The Wayward O

Oh Matt…

Episode Four or something

We hardly knew ye

Feel better — and don’t go to the dark side!